Still straight. Okay

I wish

I like it fast, I like it slow. Sometimes I want to be held down. Blindfolded with cloth and bondage tape. Teasing  my lips with your tongue. Turning me over, pressing your face into my folds. My hands are tied and I can't pull you forward. All I can do is wriggle my hips, hoping for some leverage as your tongue works its magic on my clit.

Fun times ahead

I am challenging myself to see how long I can go.

My objective is to see how long I can go without sex. No racy texts, no dirty facebook messages, no dry humping, making out, no attempts at vaginal, oral or anal sex. And absolutely, NO masturbation.

Here are the rules:

• Since he's already hidden from me on the newsfeed and blocked on foxfire, I'm deleting his number from my cell phone.
• I'm deleting all 10 GB of porn off the hard drive.
• Instead of staying up looking at porn, I'll go to bed.
• If I have to masturbate, I can only masturbate for thirty minutes every seven days.
• If I get the urge, I'll look at something gross or imagine the most fucked up images that I've seen and blocked from my head.

This entire thing starts . . .right. . NOW

Never got around to it

This shit is getting real old. 

To make a long story short, some stuff went down and I wasn't able to see Jared. I sent him a text about not meeting and haven't gotten a response. A few weeks ago, he was frank about sex and now? Nothing. Same thing happened with Nicky and that's when he mentioned that he had sex with another woman.


Ah. It makes sense now.

He loves pussy

Jared, a guy from my childhood got in contact with me a few weeks ago. I had been thinking of him when he contacted me on facebook. The whole reason for this post is that I have been kind of thinking of him sexually. I didn't mean to but I have. He mentioned that he thought I was sexy and would do things to me. Here's what's exciting. Wait for it.

He likes


eating


pussy.

I've only mentioned eating my pussy to one person, (Max) and that never happened. He mentioned diseases and taking tests and then having precaution against that. I remember when I was wet as we were fucking and I brought my fingers to his mouth and he jerked away as he mentioned how it wasn't safe. I had taken the tests but oh no, nothing from his court. He didn't like me giving oral sex (which I gave with a  condom) because it was demeaning to women. Jesus fucking Christ!

But to know there's a guy out there that wants to suck on my lips. To fuck me with his tongue and get off on eating me. My God. I am really wet and scared.
Mainly scared because I've tasted myself before. I've licked my fingers and tasted salt and I liked it. But who knows what he likes.

Annoyed

I've been looking at things while some what masturbating. Or rather, I'd start to but then would fall asleep. That's how bad it's been for me.

I caught myself thinking of what I'd tell the  future guy that I'm dating. We'd probably have a fight where I'd tell him that I want more. He'd stare at me with his kissable, lips and sexy eyes. "What is it that you want from me?" I'd look down for a moment, before lightly coughing. In my mind, I'd say the following .
   "I like it when you rub your cock against my pussy lips. The way you gently massage my lips, before sliding into my drenched pussy. I love it when you sigh as you try to not come right away. I want you to tell me how I make you feel. I love it when you're grunting because I'm so wet and tight. How tight was my pussy last night?"
My question  would catch him off guard. But I'm too much of a chicken to ask a question like that. Especially while sober. The only thing I'd manage to say is, "I don't know."

What I like

It's weird how I never really paid attention to my "type". My type is seems is fucked up. I like people. I love a woman whose curvy around the waist and has long hair. She's wearing either fuck me heels or boots to make herself taller. She's a girlie femme in make up and perfume and lipstick. I like studs (black version of butch) who have short hair and could pass for male, except that her breasts have a way of sticking out. She wears do rags and baggy pants and has a way to make me cream my pants like that.

Now, my type of men is much, much different. For some reason, I have a particular thing that I look for. The guy is taller than me, brown hair that's either super long or short. He's a lanky white boy who has something about him. He's odd or fucked up in some way that interests me. He talks to almost everyone and he's great at making jokes. I like him because I think about what it would be like to have sex with him. How I'd ride his small body into oblivion. He wears glasses either for reading or wears them all the time. He has a large adam's apple and has a tattoo on his arm. Or several. He looks younger or IS younger than me by at few days, months or even four years.

Are they asleep

Here are some more fantasies that have traveled through my head.

Are they asleep?

    I was invited to camp out with my friends and Nick, my very sexual fuck buddy. I decided to go as it would bring me closer to nature and personally, I've never been fucked in the wilderness. Four mosquito bites, a tick on my left ear and Nick having to leave mid-dry hump so he wouldn't get caught, I regretted my decision. But I knew that something would happen if I waited. Little did I know that it would happen the last day. I was sitting on my bed when Nicky walked by the open door.
     Looking to his left and right, he slipped into the room with a smirk. I rolled my eyes as he sauntered towards me. His tan arms wrapped around me as his lips found my neck and face. I moaned as his jeans met the wet spot between my legs. We both shuddered as hands pulled at the sheets. Laughing silently, we crawled beneath the bed sheets, then kissed passionately as he lifted my shirt and kissed my breast. I gasped as he fingers unhooked my bra and his tongue found my nipple. My hands grazed his bulge before unbuckling his belt.

"Turn over" He whispered. "I want to do it from the back."
I flipped over, as he brought his body close to mine. He stroked his cock near my lips and I inhaled as his slowly entered me.
"Mmm..." I murmured before hearing my roommates enter the room.  Marie. Oh God, it would be Marie. Couldn't have been Kelli, but Marie, whose bed is right of mine.

"Oh God, not you two cuddling. I swear to God. Everyone is either cuddling or fucking." she remarked as she walked to her bed, merely inches from ours.
"What's wrong with cuddling?" Nicky asked as he slowly pulled my hips down. I could feel the smirk as Marie answered unaware of what we were doing.
"I personally don't like it." she remarked, before turning her back to us to search in her backpack. I suddenly felt Nicky's middle and index fingers as they played lightly on my clit. He bit my ear as his fingers began to play with my wet, dripping pussy. Nicky froze, as Marie turned towards us. She moved towards the  door, before stopping to turn to us.

"Well, I'll leave you two . . cuddling." Nicky buried his head into the nape of my as she walked out the door.

Why don't you?

Before I begin, I decided to add a whose who on here. Mainly because I haven't written everything down on here.

First is Max. I liked him a lot, I lost my virginity to him and we are. . .I don't know.We're talking and today, I remembered all the good things and bad things that I did to him. The last time we talked, we both said things and I was  . . . horrid to the cancer boy. :-/

Then there's Ryan who I met in Australia. We aren't talking at the moment because he pissed me off over something stupid.

Finally, there's Nicky. Tall, lanky, brown haired Nicky with tats and glasses. I don't know why a man with glasses, a smirk and tats makes me drool. It's because as a woman who is overweight, I can ride the skinny guy. I'm the only big person in the bed and I can let go.

As a Scorpio, I tend to drop friendships and I wish that I didn't. I wish that I was strong and nice and kind and beautiful and a great person.

I've been wanting to be free for a while when really, I don't want to. Doesn't make sense? I've faked what I've wanted to please others. I have no idea what it is that I really want. I'd love to be in a relationship with someone and have it mean a damn. To have them kiss my lips and wake up in the morning with them.

My vagina & Nicky

I'm a Scorpio and a damn proud one, first and foremost. The thing that I've been thinking about mostly, is people that I'm attracted to. I wrote about it at the beginning and I feel like I should better describe what it is that I like.

I've been wanting to be fucked while tied up. I have bondage tape and my mind has been racing on things. I've always wondered what I've felt like with men. When I was messing around with ___, he lying on top of me, his arms resting as he was swaying in and out. I remember looking up at him and asking him how I felt. I'll never forget the answer he gave me. He looked at me with clouded eyes and strangled out "Tight. Wet." and I felt sexy at that. I was a virgin and he was my first and I felt sexy because of how my vagina made him feel. It was tight and wet and he could come because of it. I'd practice my kegels whenever I'd get on top, because he'd groan and beg me to stop or else he'd come.


I don't know what happened with Nicky but we've hit a wall. He's no longer interested in my sex talk and I can't really seem to want to talk about it. The last few times that I've been talking to him have been me engaging conversation with him and he's afraid of me. I shouldn't have said that I wanted to rape him and I shouldn't have sent him that photo of me with my bra. (However, had I known that the photo had a link to my pussy and tits photos then I wouldn't have sent him the damn thing in the first place!)

I have yet to see his goods although with how everything is going, I don't want to. I'm sad to say that I'm over wanting to fuck him or liking him like that. He's now on my never speaking to again list.

fucking