Hmmmm

I think I lost my libido, for I'm not that into sex as I used to be. I thought about it, wanted it and had it. But now I'm thinking about other things. Part of the reason I don't want to have sex has to do with Max.

The last time we had sex, he ruined the memory by skyping me the next day. It wasn't enough that we talked about it and decided to be friends and ignore what happened. No, he had to harp on it and then mention that he had a girl he was talking to. What a way to be an ass. And as he was fingering me, he said, "Are you going to come soon because my hand is getting tired."

After that, I swore I wouldn't have another fuckbuddy, whatever as long as I live. That I'd be in a relationship for a year before I give it up again. And so far, that's what's been playing in the back of my head. Thanks Max.

This is a short love song

It took me a while
to sit down and write something
that would mean the world.
I was your lover, your wife and now we're drifting . . . apart.

I can feel it in the way you hold and look
at her. Why do I even try to make myself
perfect in your eyes?

When it's true, we aren't meant to be
You fell out of love with me
years ago/ Why can't I scrub the smell
of you out of my skin, you've raped my whole being
and it's sad.
'Cuz I'm lost without you.

The time you went to Japan,
I stayed up to five, trying to time when you'd sleep and you'd
become mine.
I'd inflitrate your dreams and talk yourself to sleep
as your grunts would become less human and you'd use your teeth.
My nails would scrape your skin, mixing blood and sweat and tears
as you wishpered, "Baby I'm not trying to be mean."

And then I'd wake up.

Why can't I scrape the skin/
and start over again, with another
obession that will not heal itself?
We can't start over, the fights are more strange
I'll wait for you to fall asleep before I do in my plan.
Now sleep, sleep, I give you took much pills
now the arsenic is doing you in and I don't care.

Update

I had this really intense dream.

The type of dream that makes you wonder about your type. The type you fall head over heels for, the type that makes your head swim.


I have a type.

I have several types.


I like curvy femmes who can wear heels and have pretty hair. I like little quirks of their's and how soft they are. I like femmes with breast that are B to big.

I like butch/studs with Swagga and confidence. I like them tall and chubby, tall and skinny. Biceps pumped.