Dear weather

Every time you make it warm, I become very, very horny. Which sucks as I haven't had sex in a while and suddenly find myself missing it. This cold weather needs to stay, otherwise, I'll end up having sex in a van again. Or god forbid, the beach.

Last one for the night

I've never had a threesome  and damn if this photo doesn't make me want one. I was listening to Teqkilla (remix) by Ninki Minaj when a thought of a threesome hit me.

In this daydream, I'm wearing these black fuck me heels and a tight green dress. I'm drinking shots and all I see Ben and Rick walking towards me. Both are drunk as hell and I'm giggling because I've reached my limit. Somehow, we all get the talking before I'm left to watch all of our drinks. I get distracted as a guy with Ecstasy comes and spikes all of our drinks. We end up back at Ben's apartment and I'm laughing my ass off. I'm on Ben's bed, giggling at them both looking at me. Beckoning them, Ben and Rick sit on opposite sides and stare at me longingly.
    Smiling, I pull both closer to me as the drug takes affect. A touch here, and a kiss there as both begin to explore my body. Moaning, I part my legs as one of them begins to caress my thigh. Lips open as I pull them both closer to me, fondling them both as they continue to assault my mouth and neck with their lips. I want them, oh God how I want them to enter me.
     I hear zippers and the fabric of my dress is rising. . . over my hips and ass.

sex on the mind

    I'm in my fifth month of not having sex and it's hard. It's really, really hard. Mainly because I may have slipped and told a couple of coworkers that I was planning on staying celibate. They replied that sex isn't like pringles and that you can't stop it. That it's unreasonable to stop all of a sudden.

     I disagreed until recently. I started liking a guy from work (I know) and have been thinking bad thoughts about him. Very sexual thoughts that aren't romantic at all. I don't want to date him, I just want to fuck his brains out like now. I've been having daydreams of things where it starts off normal enough. I'm sitting in the lunchroom at work and I'm sitting by myself in a corner, when I see him walk towards me. He sits close to me and I feel flush over my entire body.
 
    He asks me how I'm doing and I give him this burning look. I plead with him to tell me something to make me not want to fuck his brains out. He blushes to the roots of his hair and I start to moan as if I'm having an orgasm. I bring my hand to my mouth as I bite my knuckles over the thought of him inside me.
"Fuck me, please." I groan as he stares down at his food.

        Next thing that I know, we're in this car and I'm straddling him. My pants and panties are around my ankles and I'm riding him like there's no tomorrow. He's pulling me down onto him and I grab his neck for dear life as I feel my pussy start to pulse in anticipation. My teeth switch between gentle bites and sucking on his neck in the hope of leaving a trophy of what we've done.

Don't cry damnit.

I want to have angry, sex. The type that leaves bruises on your skin and fingernail markings down your back. I want push your buttons and ball my fist and hit you as hard as you can. I want to see you break and grab my arm and twist it hard. I want you to pull my hair as you grunt out a "QUIT IT BITCH."

Inside, I'd smile.

On the outside, I'd snarl as my open palm would meet your face. You'd look at me in shock before pulling me down to my knees. Having me trapped in between your legs as I'd feel fingers, no hands prodding and peeling my jeans and panties off. I'd struggle in vain as I'd feel the sharp sting of your hand on my ass. Gasping in shock and excitement, I'd struggle again as your hand would come down again. My breathing would become shallow as I'd lift my breast and rub them against your thigh, taunting you with insults. I'd love to feel the whacks of your hand on my bare skin as it'd become hot to your touch. How I'd love to have you rub your hand close to my slit, making me beg for it as I'd feel you grow hard.

Good lord, I can be a fuck up at times

 I'm an evil twat, sent to cause misery.
I cut away from friendships, I snark when I'm hurt,
I cry after holding it in, and smile at pain.
I'm a jealous bitch when I see you talking to girls.
Your eyes are glowing, your smile is intoxicating and I wish I could be happy.
I wish I could say, "Good for him!"
But that'd be a lie. Hell, it's been a lie. My heart sinks, I become quiet and people ask me why I'm so down.
Part of me wants to say, "Because he doesn't like me at all! He thinks I'm a scary, creepy, cunty bitch who throws herself at men!"
But then they'd just tell me to stop liking you and move on.

I wish I didn't like you, I wish I never met you in class.
I'd love to forget your eyes and your awkward laugh.
I wish you could hold your liquor.
Anything would do, if it meant this crush would end quicker.

I wish you could tell me that you find me disgusting, that the thought of my face
makes you sick to your stomach. Tell me how silly I sound,
how my voice grates on your nerves. How every time you see me, your soul shrinks a bit as your body prepares for an attack.

I want you to hate me, from every fiber of your being. I can't have you being nice to me.
I wish you would tell me, no demand me, to leave you alone.
To stop being your facebook friend
and to go back home.

That's what I really need. I want you to tell me to stop liking you and to move on. I need to it hear from your lips, with you being serious.

I don't need hope, it confuses and scares me.

I've had recent dreams about him, remembering him from when I last saw him. Middle school. We got into a fight & I told him that I hated him and would hate him forever.

I've been thinking of him and I can't stop it. I've tried and I don't know why I got excited when he added me as a friend. I wanted to be a friend to him and we started talking and he looked nice. Good. I wanted to fuck his brains out. Is it wrong that I still want to? Even though he has a girlfriend, and seem really happy, I'm looking at his damn facebook page and going, "Yeah, I fucked this up."


I find myself wondering how big he is and wishing that I had his head buried in between my legs. Thinking of how I would have loved to have been experimenting with him and using my bondage tape. But a las, he now has a girlfriend. Damn him and Damn Drop Dead Fred.

My mouth

My mouth is dirty. I know where it's been. My mouth is trouble because it likes to discover new bodies. My tongue takes over my brain and I'm left with hunting. My teeth love to bite, love to nibble on objects, body parts, leaving marks. Trails of destruction on stomachs, necks, nipples, anything it can get it's hands on.

My mouth loves to kiss, to suck at things.

I thought of you

I thought of you coming home from Norway. I imagined how you'd feel in my arms, smelling of herbal pot and wheat grass. How your hand would lightly graze my ass in mistake and I'd feel myself get wet. Your leg pushing itself into my clit as my dress would hike higher. How we'd chuckle over the awkwardness of it all.

 I thought of you and me stuck in a movie theater and what I'd do to you. I'd circle my fingers around your cock, tugging on your head. How your hand would at first resist mine before giving in and pull it out. And in that darkened theater room, I'd hike up my dress and ever so calmly, rise out of my seat and straddle you in the dark. Biting your lip, your ear as my fingers travel downward, searching for you.

I want your head in between my legs. That's the image that's been popping in my head.

Just your face buried into my pussy.




And I gave up having sex for this.

No more

Since last writing, I was struck twice with the sex bug. I had sex yet again and it was for shame. Feelings weren't involved on my part of the end and I haven't talked to the person since.

Mainly because it was as I was having an orgasm that it hit me. I want to be in a relationship and have someone kiss me while fucking my brains out. I don't want to not be able to kiss them or feel sick seeing them half-naked. <=Deja vu (wtf)

But I digress.

I'm still going to try to write out all my sick, sick fantasies as they haven't left my brain. I have a crush on a coworker and one of my managers mentioned that I have "the blow job look". What's that look? Someone who looks like they give head and love doing it. I won't agree or disagree with her analysis because a lady never tells. :-)

Oh. . . yeah. . .

I don't know why, but guys have a habit of showing me their junk. I don't personally know why but they feel comfortable showing me some type of their junk. Whether it's just the balls or the entire thing. :-/


Thus far, I have seen about . . .  7 guys nuts. Which doesn't seem like a lot but to me, is hella much.

Why am I playing with fire?

Right now I'm thinking of what to do. My mind's playing tricks on me because it's fucking with my mind. All I've been thinking about is sex, nonstop.  

TMI post

Perfect penis?

It's raining and I'm feeling the heat. I usually feel horny going into the spring and summer. Now? I'm feeling mostly unsexy, fat, bloated, bald, prickly and realizing that this is my life.

Ah. Fall.

 

Dear Weather, fuck you

I didn't fuck him. 

Let me back up a bit and say that I like him. I like him for being resistant against my bad faults and for having a sense of humor. That being said, I wrote that post hoping that he'd see it and say something.

Instead, he was focused on his project and less on the computer screen. I tried several times and about ten minutes or more passed before he looked up and read the screen. His exact words were, "Ok. . . Well. Are you going to go capture now?"

I then talked about getting Ice Cream and we left for Pizza Shuttle. We talked as he drove us there and it felt nice.

Do I talked about sex a lot? Yes. Do I want sex? Kind of. I'd like it but not all the time. And I felt giddy as we ate pizza and drank Icee's and talked about jobs and school and the future.

Wet

I am right now in a room with the guy that I think is interesting and hot. Is he looking at this? Nope, he's doing his thing on his microphone.

I want to jump you Matt. Right now.

If you look up in the next few minutes, I will fuck your brains out.

*Le sigh*

He's  not looking up. He's more interested in his music.
 Whateve's.

Now he's look, wait. . no. His head's back down and he's concerned about his music.


I'm typing this up in front of him and he's not paying attention at all.

I'm laughing my ass off about the situation.

Songs to fuck to from aww to do it now.

I should apologize

Whenever I'm hurt by someone that I really had faith in, I tend to go overboard in hating everything about them. I shut down and try my best to kick their qualities, past actions, etc down. The post about the people having sex and being dirty. That was guided towards Nicky because of some things that were said, or not said.

I scream most things out in anger and I never think about the consequences. I blurt, I scream, I whine, I hit, I kick, I punch against what happens and I try to wound as many as possible on the way down.

In short, I'm a sick bitch.

Que Sera, Sera

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Shits & Giggles (My rant about safe sex)

I've been masturbating more and more incessantly. Based on past things, I get more and more hornier as I near my period. The damn thing is about two weeks later but that's due to gaining more and more weight.

I read a blog on a man who talked about Too Many Partners. The entire article reeked of sexism as he said that he wouldn't want to date a woman whose had a lot of sexual partners. Read this:

". . .I would just tell [my girl] that I don’t know my number but the number doesn’t even matter on my behalf because I’m a man. [Laughs] I actually don’t even know my number. I haven’t really added it up."

I'm probably at a weird moment in my life but I cringed at that. He admitted to not knowing his number and laughed about it. My mind screamed, "Dirty. That's fucking dirty!" (I realize that it's wrong for me to judge him but there's a reason. After seeing a documentary on STI's, I've been wondering just how many people have had unprotected sex time after time after time.) Plus, he took photos of himself engaging in unprotected sex.
       My main thing is that I've been thinking about protection when having sex and not focusing on just the here and now. I'm guilty of not protecting myself once during sex, and it was. . . Never again. I feel as if I'm an old woman to want people to be careful, use condoms, dental dams and etc when they have sex.

       Some of my friends are in committed relationships and feel the need to not protect themselves at all. I feel as if I'm a negative Nancy for wanting to have at least birth control and a condom. If I were to get into a long term relationship, I'd want them to use condoms all the time. I know people slip up but I don't want to be a statistic. I also want to get tested regularly with the person to ensure that we're safe while using condoms as a backup. It's better to be safe than sorry.

I know, I know, I know.

A few of you would look at the last post and complain that I'm talking about sex. I would agree that I did say I didn't want to talk to another human being about sex or think about it with another person. And that's true. I don't want to have sex with another person, nor am I thinking of having sex with another person. It's just me mostly writing down things.