No more

Since last writing, I was struck twice with the sex bug. I had sex yet again and it was for shame. Feelings weren't involved on my part of the end and I haven't talked to the person since.

Mainly because it was as I was having an orgasm that it hit me. I want to be in a relationship and have someone kiss me while fucking my brains out. I don't want to not be able to kiss them or feel sick seeing them half-naked. <=Deja vu (wtf)

But I digress.

I'm still going to try to write out all my sick, sick fantasies as they haven't left my brain. I have a crush on a coworker and one of my managers mentioned that I have "the blow job look". What's that look? Someone who looks like they give head and love doing it. I won't agree or disagree with her analysis because a lady never tells. :-)

Oh. . . yeah. . .

I don't know why, but guys have a habit of showing me their junk. I don't personally know why but they feel comfortable showing me some type of their junk. Whether it's just the balls or the entire thing. :-/


Thus far, I have seen about . . .  7 guys nuts. Which doesn't seem like a lot but to me, is hella much.

Why am I playing with fire?

Right now I'm thinking of what to do. My mind's playing tricks on me because it's fucking with my mind. All I've been thinking about is sex, nonstop.  

TMI post

Perfect penis?

It's raining and I'm feeling the heat. I usually feel horny going into the spring and summer. Now? I'm feeling mostly unsexy, fat, bloated, bald, prickly and realizing that this is my life.

Ah. Fall.

 

Dear Weather, fuck you

I didn't fuck him. 

Let me back up a bit and say that I like him. I like him for being resistant against my bad faults and for having a sense of humor. That being said, I wrote that post hoping that he'd see it and say something.

Instead, he was focused on his project and less on the computer screen. I tried several times and about ten minutes or more passed before he looked up and read the screen. His exact words were, "Ok. . . Well. Are you going to go capture now?"

I then talked about getting Ice Cream and we left for Pizza Shuttle. We talked as he drove us there and it felt nice.

Do I talked about sex a lot? Yes. Do I want sex? Kind of. I'd like it but not all the time. And I felt giddy as we ate pizza and drank Icee's and talked about jobs and school and the future.

Wet

I am right now in a room with the guy that I think is interesting and hot. Is he looking at this? Nope, he's doing his thing on his microphone.

I want to jump you Matt. Right now.

If you look up in the next few minutes, I will fuck your brains out.

*Le sigh*

He's  not looking up. He's more interested in his music.
 Whateve's.

Now he's look, wait. . no. His head's back down and he's concerned about his music.


I'm typing this up in front of him and he's not paying attention at all.

I'm laughing my ass off about the situation.

Songs to fuck to from aww to do it now.

I should apologize

Whenever I'm hurt by someone that I really had faith in, I tend to go overboard in hating everything about them. I shut down and try my best to kick their qualities, past actions, etc down. The post about the people having sex and being dirty. That was guided towards Nicky because of some things that were said, or not said.

I scream most things out in anger and I never think about the consequences. I blurt, I scream, I whine, I hit, I kick, I punch against what happens and I try to wound as many as possible on the way down.

In short, I'm a sick bitch.

Que Sera, Sera

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Shits & Giggles (My rant about safe sex)

I've been masturbating more and more incessantly. Based on past things, I get more and more hornier as I near my period. The damn thing is about two weeks later but that's due to gaining more and more weight.

I read a blog on a man who talked about Too Many Partners. The entire article reeked of sexism as he said that he wouldn't want to date a woman whose had a lot of sexual partners. Read this:

". . .I would just tell [my girl] that I don’t know my number but the number doesn’t even matter on my behalf because I’m a man. [Laughs] I actually don’t even know my number. I haven’t really added it up."

I'm probably at a weird moment in my life but I cringed at that. He admitted to not knowing his number and laughed about it. My mind screamed, "Dirty. That's fucking dirty!" (I realize that it's wrong for me to judge him but there's a reason. After seeing a documentary on STI's, I've been wondering just how many people have had unprotected sex time after time after time.) Plus, he took photos of himself engaging in unprotected sex.
       My main thing is that I've been thinking about protection when having sex and not focusing on just the here and now. I'm guilty of not protecting myself once during sex, and it was. . . Never again. I feel as if I'm an old woman to want people to be careful, use condoms, dental dams and etc when they have sex.

       Some of my friends are in committed relationships and feel the need to not protect themselves at all. I feel as if I'm a negative Nancy for wanting to have at least birth control and a condom. If I were to get into a long term relationship, I'd want them to use condoms all the time. I know people slip up but I don't want to be a statistic. I also want to get tested regularly with the person to ensure that we're safe while using condoms as a backup. It's better to be safe than sorry.