Congratulations

     A day ago, I went on facebook to see Jared logged onto facebook chat. As soon as I clicked onto his name, BAM! He was off. The funny thing is that today, I saw that he mentioned how he was the luckiest man in the world and was currently in a relationship.   -_-  

   Congrats to him, I just wish that I hadn't sent any texts to him. Had I known that he was talking to another woman, I wouldn't have sent him stuff or tried anything. I don't like that feeling of stepping on another woman's toes. And this makes me feel as if I were just a stepping stone to get a girlfriend.


   I listened to my "He's Just Not That Into You" and realized just how much I've fallen. After listening to it, I immediately went to my facebook profile and started deleting all inappropriate photos of me. (Some were I was wearing a cami, looking suggestive fully clothed, anything that would have caused my grandmother alarm before her death was gone.)


I don't know what any of this means, it's just that right now. At this very moment, I never want to think, talk or hint at sex to another human being let alone a guy. I've portrayed myself as this sex vixen and it's gotten me nowhere. The guys that I've liked have seen this side and gone on to have girlfriends, wives or become celibate. I talked to a guy while I was waiting in line and I had fun. I didn't talk about sex, we just talked and even though the conversation was kind of shallow I enjoyed it.
          For once, I didn't make myself into what I thought someone would want me to be. I wasn't a plaything, I wasn't a hole for someone to fuck. I was just me and I was a nameless woman who had fun talking to a guy about movies.